Aleece A. McKnight, Esq.
“It’s not about how much money you make. It’s about the difference you make in people’s lives.” - Michelle Obama
You don’t have to be extra to be great!
After getting to know more about me, someone once said… “Still waters run deep”
*excuse the language that may be used in this post*
“What’s up mane tar baby baboon looking ass”
“You checking aint it? Zimbabwe mud duck face ass heaux”
“You so black you make ink look light”
“You so black, when you smile your mouth look like an oreo cookie”
“Go on mane, pitch black moose looking ass”
It’s just checking until … ” You’re really pretty for a dark skin girl”
So one Houston night, three young women went out to a lounge. Two were light and one was dark brown. At some point, two men walked over to the women and began to flirt with the ‘light’ women. All three were bought drinks. Cool. One man looked at the dark brown woman and said ” You’re really pretty for a dark skinned woman” She looked in disbelief at what was just said. Gave a side eye and THE EYE. “I would say that you’re handsome for a fat man but then I’ll be lying.” The other two women laughed and then came to their homegirl’s defense. His excuse “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean my preference is light skinned women”. It wasn’t until that point that I realized that I, a dark brown skinned woman, was supposed to be ugly in the eyes of African American society. This was 2 maybe 3 years ago.
Yea we can check and it was cool until I was introduced to colorism.
Last night I watched Oprah’s “Dark Girls” documentary. I felt some kind of way because I watched babies age 5 and younger say that they were ugly simply because they had dark skin. I watched this baby sit with her head held LOW because she had dark skin. I watched a 4 year old point at a white picture when asked who was pretty, then again when asked who was smart. That same baby pointed to a black picture when asked who was ugly, then again when asked who were dumb. “I want to bleach my skin.” “I hate my dad for making me dark” “I hope my daughter isn’t dark” Who’s the blame for these feelings? Their parents? Does self-esteem start in the home? Many have said that the problem is in the home. I disagree. You can be told you are beautiful at home but that doesn’t make up for the hurtful things that are said and done to you on a constant basis at school or in social settings. The documentary also exposed the ‘bullying’ towards dark girls. While growing up, I don’t think I’ve ever been a victim of others picking on me or treating me different because I was dark. Or was I just naïve to what was going on around me? I do not know what these women and girls went through, but it saddens me that among OUR race their exist colorism.
But let me get to the comments of the ugly men giving their opinions in this documentary (they should have been the LAST somebody to say anything). However, comments were made like:
"If she is dark, she has to have a nice body." So you’re only interested in me for sexual purposes? oh.
"I don’t like dark skinned women because they don’t look good beside me." Sooo you’re just the most handsome man on this here earth? Well naw.
I’m not saying don’t have your preference, just don’t mistreat a child or woman because she has dark skin. That’s dumb and ignorant. Now I know some African American women who are light have received some backlash as well. Colorism goes both ways. Honestly, I know once before I wished that my daddy took his dad’s color (he was high yellow bc he was mixed) or that I took my mother’s fair skin color but I never thought I was ugly or inferior to anyone else. I was just in the sun all the time and didn’t wanna be burnt lol Let me say this, the color of my skin does not define me or who I am. If you don’t like how I look, keep your comments to yourself because my mouth too slick when it comes to ignorance. I AM BEAUTIFUL and my junts can confirm! I get action so don’t think I’m so desperate to get attention that I will settle because someone “finally” want ol dark brown me. I love my skin and I don’t have low self-esteem because of it. I think it’s odd that many individuals of other ethnicities think that dark skin is beautiful but OUR own race put each other down. But y’all were mad when blacks were slaves, when whites treated US different because we were not pure white, and when they call us niggers. Hell, if we do it then why can’t they?
Recently, I’ve had two high yellow men swing my way. One I knew my color didn’t matter to him I was just beautiful and the other, well, I wasn’t his “preference” because he also told me he prefers light women with long hair but maybe I was beautiful to him too. Now I love me a dark brown man but trust if a fine ass redbone (yes I call men redbone) walked past me, he’s mine lol
Tupac said it best : The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. Now get over here and taste.
The Point of IT all: Black is beautiful regardless of the shade. We always setting each other back.
—— A Dark Brown Woman Immune to Ignorance
OH LORD THAT YOU WOULD BLESS ME AND ENLARGE MY TERRITORY!
Are we going to dismiss the issue of a scorned/hurt woman?
Millie sought out to get revenge on Fitz just as every scorned woman would. You hurt me so I’m going to hurt you is the motto. Well, how about I just blackmail you into choosing me. NEWS FLASH: If a man does not want you, there is nothing you can say or do to get him to be with you. Absolutely nothing. (and vice versa) I laughed at her attempt to get her husband back. I kicked my feet up and watched her heart break even more and that elmer fudd looking face to hit the floor. If a man has hurt you, the best thing to do is move on. The more you try to force yourself on him, the madder you will get and the more pain you will feel. Honey, just walk away. Now, you can fight for him but after so long you just have to realize that he isn’t looking for you to fight for him. He is actually wanting you to walk away. Learn the difference.
I learned a lesson that I promised myself to never forget again. Take chances. Simple as that. What was done before may not be the case. I can feel Olivia when she felt as though Fitz wasn’t true to his feelings with her; she doubted his intentions. She ran. *wipes off foot*
So the last time you went all in with a guy with no care as to what could go wrong, things ended up wrong and your feelings were hurt? So the next time a man came, you were hesitant. Kinda jogged didn’t ya? Did little things jjuuuuuussstt to keep a little distance until you were sure? Mistake. Not only will you push off someone who was probably genuinely into you, but you will end up missing what he was offering you. Olivia wanted to run so bad from Fitz. She just couldn’t take the pain anymore, especially after he dissed her before. Oh but she sat on that couch and let this man earn her, risking everything including his image. Then, she knew it was real. (SN: it takes a real man to put aside his pride and do certain things) As hurt as we get sometimes we have to just open up and let things go, especially if it is not the person who hurt you. Women and men, we often find themselves alone because they are afraid to get hurt. Let me share this, let the man court you. Be a lady and don’t push him off unless you are completely uninterested. Men, let this woman show you that’s she not just into your money. Oh and let me say this, physical appearance may not be what attracts you either. The size of his penis or how great her va gay gay is may not either.
If I’m turned off, I’m just off!! Yea, I’ve done that too. Talked to a guy hoping that my mind would change but after encountering … I was like nah. I’ll pass.
Men and women, are you going to be hurt all your life? I didn’t know you’re supposed to allow broken things to say broken. Baby you can put the pieces of this puzzle together. Also, if someone has hurt you or pushed you away, give them a second chance. No one is perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes.
The Point of IT All: Don’t force yourself on someone who doesn’t want you. You’re hurt, they don’t want you, move on. If you’ve been hurt before, don’t stay in that sad place. Allow someone to show you that you are worthy of being loved and cared for.
Let me get ready for my evening
So I know y’all saw Scandal last night. Let’s discuss this phrase that I’m sure all females have been throwing around the past 12 hours “If you want me, EARN ME!”
But let me address you young ladies screaming “EARN ME”. Earn you for what? What are you worth? SIT YOUR MINIMUM WAGE ASS DOWN!! You still FIX food out of a can but you worth something? Ma’ams SIT YOUR DOLLAR TREE ASSES DOWN! ‘Round here with a stank attitude, 24” weave, and make-up caked on like a mime dancer. That mediocre cooch will only take you so far. Not every woman is worth earning. You wanting a man to woo you but you stay talmbout oooo you so thirsty! You gon be sitting on the couch waiting like Mellie when that clock struck 9:00pm …looking foolish as hell because you didn’t get chose.
Now, Olivia said a word with that one. So you all wanna bash the side chick because she told that man to earn her? Some of you may wonder how can a side chick say that to a man. Well, let me tell you this. Olivia had every right to say that to him. At this point she was no longer the side piece. I know y’all remember Olivia sitting on that pew a whole week. He cut her off and she cut him off. Now, YES you need to show her that it’s real. It was fun while it lasted but baby boy, come real or don’t come at all. Cut me off once and think I’m supposed to crawl back every time. Nah buddy. It’s OV for that. Now I know we aren’t supposed to be rooting for infidelity, but the reality is that you may not always be with the person you are truly in love with. I think Olivia is worth being earned.
Men sitting here talking about side chick this, side chick that. Let me help you men out …. it’s not a side chick when the man is in love. That’s not a side chick. Fitz didn’t come back to her just for the sex or company because his wife got on his last nerve (although she did, ugh) but he came back BECAUSE HE WAS IN LOVE WITH OLIVIA. Who keeps running back? Aw ok. People saying Fitz is in charge but guess what, Olivia has that comeback! If she was JUST a side chick Fitz wouldn’t be checking for her like he does. Safe to say he can’t get over the side chick either huh? So who’s falling? haha He’s whipped. Men, y’all have been whipped too … by a side chick. That coochie is on a pedestal. Olivia is an amazing woman and that bedroom action is the icing on the cake. Reminds me of myself :-) Ask.
The Point of IT All: Before you demand that someone earns you, make sure that you are worth something that money can’t buy. #LetITMarinate
The Point of IT All: Not all side chicks stay in that role. Y’all men end up having to EARN that woman. Whether you want to admit it or not. Some of you are with your once side chick. But I’m sleeping like a fetus tho.
Now riddle me this. Why is it that Chris Dorner was sought out to be murder. They didn’t give them man a chance to be captured. All he did was shoot and kill a few officers. Now we have “little brother”. Little Brother and Big Brother set of several bombs in the city of Boston. These young foreigners planned and executed massive attacks in our county yet they wanted to capture him alive. Now I’m pretty sure that authorities could have done something to capture Dorner rather than burning him alive the way that they did. No other options of captivity were sought. But here, they said ‘catch this man alive. we want him alive’.
See something weird here? Help me out. I haven’t read up on the story this is only what I’m thinking based on very little facts.
If you can catch a man with explosives still in his possession with the ability to set them off without killing him or having the desire to, you can catch a man equipment with guns without killing him. Does race play a part? Does nationality play a part? I just don’t understand how you can want one man alive but sought to murder another. But wait, they wanted information about the whole terrorist ordeal right?
The Point of It All: At times we can’t even trust the people we expect to have the country’s best interest at hand.
Never wanted to come back to Memphis once I left in 2005. People question me all the time as to why I came back to Memphis after moving to Houston. When I find a real answer, I’ll get back to you all. No more school. I have my degree. I have my license. Why do I not feel personally fulfilled?
I AM NOT DOING WHAT I HAVE A PASSION TO DO.
I really don’t feel like I’m living my purpose. I’m currently in the process of trying to move out of Memphis. I’m ready to start practicing, get my entertainment clients (side hustle), have my own firm (well now, trying to work in someone else’s), and start my non-profits. Lord I thank you for the job that I have and I am patiently waiting on you to move me. I believe and trust in your plan. But when I say I feel empty … I think I’m not describing this feeling enough. Should I just take a leap of faith? Where should I be to get started? One thing for sure, Memphis is not the place to be and Memphis folk ain’t the people to mix among.
I’m taking steps. Active steps. I’m constantly looking for more steps to take. I know what I have a passion to do and I’m searching for that path paved for me. I’m going to take it running in heels and all!
The Point of It All: Go for your dreams. If you have a passion for something, go get it. Don’t sit empty. Step outside of your comfort zone and take risks. I did once before and I’m ready again.